Until recently, when someone ‘nested,’ the assumption was that they were preparing for a new baby. But now, parents in Connecticut and across the country are nesting post-divorce. In a family that birdnests or nests, the parents are the ones who change locations, not the children, when it comes to custody arrangements.
The benefits of nesting
Some therapists have spoken out about the benefits of nesting when it comes to kids. Keeping children in the same house can make a difficult adjustment easier for them. It can help them continue to feel a sense of stability during a time of great change. Divorce and dealing with the family law court system is challenging for everyone in a family. Making decisions to ease the transition, particularly for children, can be wise in the long run.
There are arguably some benefits to nesting for parents, too. Instead of paying for a home of their own, one parent can sleep at the office or stay with their parents during their down time. Some parents say that nesting has also given them greater perspective on how divorce impacts kids. They understand what it’s like to be the one going from home to home. It helps them develop empathy.
The limits of nesting
Nesting is a fairly new phenomenon. There’s not much research looking into the long-term effects of this parenting style yet. That’s one reason why it can be important to work with professionals in developing a plan to try nesting in your own family. As always in a divorce, it’s important to loop your attorney in on the plan. Involving a counselor or family therapist can also be very prudent.
As the parents move on from the marriage and enter new relationships, it’s likely that nesting will be less viable as an option. Eventually, they may want to set up a new household and possibly even have more children. But in the immediate aftermath of a breakup, nesting can be a good way to provide children with a sense of a sense of steadiness and security.