Bringing up estate planning with your parents feels awkward. However, this conversation can save your family from stress and confusion later. Here’s how to make it easier for everyone.
Start with care, not fear
Don’t jump straight into legal talk. Instead, show you care about their future. Try saying, “I want to make sure we handle things the way you’d want. Have you thought about an estate plan?” This opens the door without pressure.
Your parents might feel uncomfortable at first. That’s normal. Give them time to think about it.
Focus on what matters to them
Estate planning isn’t just about money. It’s about protecting what they value most. Ask questions like:
- What legacy do you want to leave?
- Who would you trust to make decisions for you?
- Which causes or advocacies matter most to you?
This shifts the focus from scary legal stuff to meaningful choices about their values.
Know Connecticut’s rules
In Connecticut, your parents need specific documents to form part of their estate plan:
- A will: It must be written and signed by two witnesses who won’t inherit anything. This document says who gets what after they die.
- A power of attorney: It lets someone handle money matters if your parents can’t. While notarization isn’t required, most banks want it.
- A healthcare proxy: It names someone to make medical choices if your parents become unable to decide for themselves.
- A trust: It can help avoid probate court and give more control over how assets get passed down.
Ensure that your parents’ estate plan includes all these documents in accordance with state laws.
Offer real help
Don’t just talk about it. Offer to do something useful. You could research lawyers experienced in helping create estate plans, help gather documents or even go to meetings with them. Your support makes the whole process less scary.
Say something like, “I can help you find a good attorney” or “We can work through this together.”
Be patient and respectful
This conversation might take several talks. Don’t rush them. Let your parents make their own choices at their own speed.
Remember, you’re there to support their decisions, not make them for them. With patience and care, you can help your parents create a plan that protects the family.